Discovering Your Self-Driven Force of Motivation
“Be humble, be hungry, and always be the hardest worker in the room.” -Dwayne Johnson
Lately, I feel like I’ve found a little bit of an extra sense of motivation that I probably needed. I’m usually a very self-driven person, and I always have been ever since I was young. I do think it’s important to stay self-motivated throughout your life because ultimately, you are the one who has to be satisfied with the life you are living.
We all have some sort of motivation for doing the things we do. We have some sort of reason for why we make every choice that we make. I’ve often wondered how much of our choices are influenced in some way by our own insecurities and self-doubts. How often do we require motivation from others in order to motivate ourselves? How often do we pat ourselves on the back? Are you someone who is willing to settle for mediocre when you know that with hard work and determination, you have the potential to be exceptional? What holds you back from accomplishing the things you desire? What drives you?
What is it in my life that motivates me? You know, my answer would be that my self-motivation comes from several different places. First and foremost, I do think my work ethic and self-motivation was created when I was young because I had big dreams and goals and I knew that the only way to reach them was to work hard. While my dreams and goals did change, my self-discipline and work ethic only got stronger. I had high expectations for myself, and I still do.
As a young little girl, I was a dreamer and an idealist. I was also stubborn and I preferred to march to the beat of my own drum. I grew up with a single mother who I watched provide for my brother and I, without giving off any sense that she was struggling to do so. I liked freedom too, I liked it a lot, and I still love it now. My own freedom is something I highly value.
I have always been a little bit rebellious. If someone doubted me and my abilities, my mind began focusing on what hard work I needed to do in order to let my success show them how wrong they were. I’d like to say I did not develop a lot of my drive and motivation out of spite, but then I’d be lying. Growing up, I had many people in my life who channeled their own insecurities into me. I thought in my mind “the day I do what they say I cannot and prove them wrong, it will be the best day of my life.” Anger, frustration and past emotional/psychological trauma were by far some of my biggest motivators for the good majority of my life.
Another thing that has always been a motivator for me is that I believe as a woman, it is my job to be a role model for our future generation of women to come. I wanted to create my own definition of who I wanted to be, one that was far from the old-school, societal definition of who a woman should be. As women, it is important to remember that we can survive this life without the help of a man. You are not inferior to a man. Women should be opinionated, loud, passionate, powerful, determined, fierce, self-focused, and independent if that is who they want to be. I’ve always been very driven by the idea of being independent. I refuse to depend on a man and I will struggle with nothing before I allow someone to make me feel inferior to them.
I’ve never fully been motivated by money. Money is great, don’t get me wrong but money is not the be all/end all thing in the world. I think it is perfectly healthy and normal to buy the things you desire with the money you work hard to earn, but it is very important not to get too consumed by wealth and blinded to the rest of the world around you. Success and happiness are not solely determined by the amount of money you have. Money is a motivator though for a lot of people, and as long as they are happy with what they’re doing and, in their lives, then that seems like success to me.
One thing that I’ve found to be a problem in modern day society is that too many people expect instant gratification. You cannot lift weights one time and expect bigger biceps in one day. You cannot do something one time, get mad when you do not see results, and expect that is all the effort required to be put in. The biggest, most motivating thing I’ve learned throughout my life is to delay gratification. For example, say you got an entry-level job working for a company you wanted to work for but you were hoping to get a manager position instead. You could settle and be fine with the entry-level position, or you could give yourself a gentle pat on the back, delay celebration, and work hard to prove your worth in that entry-level position to earn that manager position one day.
When I got my associate degree in nursing, I didn’t over-celebrate or get too excited because I was afraid it would make me feel that I had done enough. I knew I had more I wanted to accomplish and I was not done yet. That is just me though, not everyone has to push themselves like that. The thing is, not everyone has big dreams and aspirations and people need to be mindful of that. Just because someone’s goals are not a big as yours, we should still celebrate their successes just the same.
It is hard for me to be in the presence of people who complain about their life, yet they have all of the tools to build a better life for themselves, but intentionally choose not to. I don’t know where this mindset came from in people in the sense that the world owes them something. It seems like common sense to me, but absolutely no one owes anyone anything that they did not earn. Too many people are more focused on being envious about what other people have than rather than what they could do to get those things for themselves. I used to really focus on how I could help motivate and encourage other people, but I always found myself frustrated and disappointed when they would not try motivating themselves. It became exhausting not only motivating myself, but also having to help motivate someone else. After a while, I realized I had to stop putting my efforts into helping those who had no interest in putting effort into helping themselves.
While working hard to prove your worth to others is a significant driving force, I’ve come to find that I’ve always also worked hard to prove my worth to myself. I hold myself at very high standards and I do expect a lot out of myself. I know my capabilities and I know that with hard work, determination and the right mindset, I can do pretty much anything. I’ve forced myself to work unnecessary amounts of hours, work multiple jobs at once, and/or go to school simultaneously in the past. I think I subconsciously wanted to exhaust myself to instill a hard work ethic in order for me to feel as if I have earned the things I have. It also lead me to feel even more grateful and thankful for the day to come when I did not have to do all of that anymore. It gave me humility, not arrogance. I am thankful that I have always pushed myself though, or else I would not be here right now pushing myself to write this blog today. Even today, I still need a little bit of self-encouragement every now and again.
It was not until I made myself look at my life differently that I started looking at all of the negative things that have happened to me and the effect they have had. I never realized how much good actually came from the most painful experiences. This mindset I’ve developed now drives me in such a different way. I am no longer driven by anger and frustration. I am self-driven in the pursuit of things that will present me with more growth opportunities. I am chasing the things that will make me into a better person and will help me find and live out my purpose in life each and every day. I am driven to learn. If I ever get to a point that I feel as if I am the smartest person in the room, then it is time for me to find a new room, and I will never forget that either.
My goals and dreams have changed throughout my life and will continue to change as I grow and evolve as a person and I am fully okay with that. I am accepting of where I am in my life right now. I am not too overly focused on how I can fully control the outcome of my future, but I control it enough that it will not be able to take over and control me. I’ve let go of the image of what I thought my life should be and I am fully embracing what my life became. I cannot go back and change anything in the past but what I can do is change my mindset. I will not allow the pain from the past or the fear of the future become excuses in my pursuit of becoming a better version of myself every day. I will continue to take all of the positive and negative experiences in my life and channel them into learning opportunities to prepare me for my undetermined, yet bright future that is to come.
Ultimately, in the end, the question you must answer is this: who do you want to be and what do you desire? Do you want to be successful? Do you want more for your life? Do you want to be better? We are all ultimately responsible for the life we live. We can either take one step forward and hope for the best, or we can stand in the same place that we know produces no results. Either way, it is up to us as individuals to chase the dreams and reach for the goals we desire. The first step in the path to success is to let go of any insecurities that hold you back from living out your full potential. You must have confidence in yourself and your abilities and if not, keep an open-mind and immerse yourself into learning more to be better . Lastly, always remember that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. There is no time-frame, there are no “rules.” We all race to achieve our goals at different speeds because we are all running in our own individual races. Don’t let the speed of someone running in their own race distract you from making it to the finish line in yours.
I do hope that if you are feeling down and unmotivated that you are able to find that self-drive and inspiration you are searching for. Chances are, it’s probably hidden deep within yourself. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a blessed week.
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