Dear Younger Self

I have always wondered, if I could go back in time and give some advice to my younger self, what would I say? Would I tell her what to expect in the future? Would I give a warning about the things to watch out for? Would I tell her about the struggles of depression? Would I tell her she would grow up to be successful, even though she would always feel like she was not? Would I tell her that her dreams would all change? I know that seems weird to think about but I look back to my younger self, and see the great amount of growth that has happened to me. I think there is always a nostalgic feeling of being a kid, thinking the world is your oyster, and that you can go on to do anything and everything you want. I see some small things about my young self that I see in myself today. I feel like I have not fully “changed” as a person, but that I have grown and have developed a much more mature, physical and emotional sense of self which is what becoming an adult is all about I think, right? Well, I think reflection is important, so I want to reflect on my life now and try to put into words what I might say to my younger self at this point in my life.

Dear Younger Self,

I am not 100% sure what to say to you at this moment. I know you are probably thinking about all of the world’s possibilities that are out there. I know you are dreaming of the day that you are my age, at 25, wondering where your life will be. I’m not here to disappoint you and tell you to give up on your dreams, because holding onto hope to achieve all of your dreams will lead you to where you are at 25. As you get older, you might find that your dreams will change along with your personality, values, and priorities. You’ll become more of an extrovert in high school, and for a few years after graduation to try and fit in, but after that stage passes, you will discover that your soul is more introverted, and you will find peace and tranquility within yourself. Your insecurities will come out, and boy will they shine bright like a flashlight in a dark room when you’re in the middle of a deep sleep.

You will keep that whole “walk to the beat of your own drum” attitude, but you will be respectful to your superiors in the workplace and school system. You will not conform to societal norms just to make other people feel better. You will be independent, and you will prioritize taking care of yourself before putting someone else first. You’re going to be an empath, and you will feel other people’s emotions way more than you’d like. You will have an easy time finding empathy for others, but you will not fully empathize for those who are actively searching for it. You will find yourself in a career of helping others and you will really take it seriously. You will try to actively do for others and feel for others because that is who you are at your core.

You’re going to hit rock bottom many times, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. You will develop coping mechanisms that are not always the most healthy way to deal with things, but you will work through them. You will discover more about yourself, and about the things that make your soul happy. At a young age, you will fantasize about how great life is when you grow up but don’t let that fool you into wishing your childhood away. You will be disappointed when you get older, wishing you could go back to being 10 again to do it all over again. Each milestone in life is more stressful than the last, and that is because you will grow with each chapter that ends. You will develop personal tools to handle the next job at hand. You may not fully understand this yet, but you will.

The struggles you are facing right now will shape you into the person you will become.

The struggles you are facing at this moment will continue for a while longer, they might get worse before they get better, but once you get older you will be thankful for the struggles and doubt. You will end up accomplishing so much because of the strength it gives you. There will be people who don’t think you will amount to the things you desire, and you will find this passion inside of you to prove to yourself and to others that you are capable of accomplishing your dreams. Just remember, anyone who has any doubt in you does not understand your full potential. You will be humble and forgiving to anyone who has hurt you or doubted you in the past. You will take every roadblock in your journey and use it as a learning experience.

You might think your mother is awful right now, but I promise that once you get older, your mother will be your best friend. You are thinking “I will never be like my mom” but you will be more like your mother than you anticipate. You want to be a lawyer now, but you might change your mind in the future and discover another career that will give you more fulfillment. You might also discover that your shy, introverted personality could not handle the courtroom and that does not make you a failure because of that. You will still defend the things you find personal to you, and you will be a good advocate for people who cannot advocate for themselves.

You will struggle with the feeling of inadequacy. You will feel like you failed at times, took the easy route in life, and settled. In fact, there are so many times that you will settle, and take an easier route.  Each path you take leads you to a different destination, and everything happens for a reason. At a young age, thinking of mental health and anxiety is not really prevalent yet, but it will be. Your mental health will be fragile, and you will constantly struggle with it. You will find ways to overcome some things, but not all things. You will be a “comfort zone” person and sometimes that is not a bad thing. You will still question what your purpose in life is in your 20s, but you will take each day to discover yourself to lead you to the answer of that question.

You might be an optimist, but as life experiences happen, you might turn into more of a realist. Being positive is very important, and is going to get you much further in life than being negative all of the time. There are going to be instances where you look at life very realistically, in a sense of curiosity. Don’t look at situations in a glass-half anything type of way, look at them as if you are grateful that you have something in the glass to begin with. You will finally understand what it feels like to be genuinely grateful for things like you have never before.

You will ask a lot of questions every single day. You will annoy some people, but your sense of curiosity will be something that will set you apart from so many people. You will want to understand, interpret, and grasp each and every single thing you are immersed in. You will discover so many things in life because of this curiosity. You will try to look at the big picture of things to better understand how things are all interconnected.

You’re going to be a people pleaser and that will lead you to feeling anxious and guilty for not doing for others and thinking of yourself. There are going to be instances where you have to put yourself first and you cannot let others or let yourself feel bad about it. You’re going to be a giver, a deep emotional person, and your brain and body are going to need time to decompress. Take that time to yourself, because you have to be your best self for so many things in life. Practice self care, take some “me” time,  buy the things you want, take a hot bath, get a massage, color your hair. Take care of your needs, and do not let them slide under the rug.

You are going to live a life of purpose. At the age of 25, I am still discovering that purpose. You will eventually start a blog, you will consider writing a book, and you will feel overwhelmed by the people who can relate to the things you are going through at any moment. You will not feel so alone once you find that other people struggle with things that they hide on the inside too. You will be able to open up more of yourself to others, all because you decided to put your own inner thoughts on a public internet platform. Life is about learning and having the motivation to find your purpose in life will keep you learning and growing more each day. You say you want to change the world, and you will, one small step at a time. You might not be able to change things on a public platform, like a senator, a president, or a famous actor, but each person’s life that you change will have a domino effect: meaning that each life you affect, they will affect another life and so on and so forth. Don’t forget the small scale things in life.

Lastly, do not ever lose your sense of wonder. You are a dreamer, a do-er, a thinker. You are always shooting for the stars. Don’t give up on reaching the stars, regardless of what the outcome is. With that being said, if you land on the moon and don’t make it to the stars, you have to celebrate your victories. Think in terms of, “at least I got off the ground to begin with.” You will be your own biggest critic, you will push yourself too hard sometimes and you will find instances where you need to lighten up. You will grow into a young, strong, independent woman and you will succeed in life wherever it takes you. Make sure you work hard, stay focused, keep an open mind, be kind and caring to people, and stay humble. Always remember, you are smart, you are strong, and you are capable of achieving anything that you set your mind to.

Best wishes for the future,

From: Your 25-Year Old Self