As Maya Angelou once quoted, “I am a feminist. I’ve been female for a long time now. I’d be stupid not to be on my own side.” I believe that all women should unite together to ensure that all women receive equal rights in society. 

What does equality mean? Well, it means that both sides have the same exact amount. It means that each person receives the same amount of whatever it is they are getting. I remember equality at best as being an algebra equation and having to balance both sides. At the end of the problem, both sides have the same amount. I do not recall one side of the algebra equation adding numbers in at the end and the answer was still counted correctly on a test. So, you may be wondering, what does this have to do with me being a double negative blog poster about feminism? 

As women, most of us have grown up in a lifestyle where men got more opportunities simply because they were born without boobs and a uterus. Times have since changed and women all over the world are making history. Look at women like Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Queen Elizabeth II of England, Beyonce, and many more women out there. These women are powerful, strong, and have made an impact on other women in the world. What makes a woman “powerful?” Strength, resilience, independence, respect for others, strong-willed, focus, determination, and open-mindedness are all character traits that makes a powerful woman. Not all “strong” women are leading countries, dropping great albums year after year, or defending their point in court, some strong women are just like me and you. Mothers are strong women, who face criticism about their parenting styles, become selfless to provide for their children, and have to keep all of their emotions together 24/7 without breaking down in their moments of defeat and stress. Strong women include breastfeeding mothers, bottle-feeding mothers, working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, and all of the above. 

You might ask at this point, “why are you anti-feminism?” Well, here is why. All of these strong women in history and today paved their own way in the face of adversity. They fought long and hard to become the strong person inside of them. If they had a goal in mind, they set forth on that path with dedication and determination to achieve just that. The reason this blog is the “anti-feminism feminist” is because while I am a feminist who is very proud of the progress that the feminism movement has made, I am not proud of putting down another gender to get ahead. I do not believe in creating these double standards for men and women. Isn’t the whole goal of feminism equality? For example, a college boy goes out to parties every weekend, sleeps with tons of girls, and ghosts them shortly afterward. A college girl, does the exact same act. Should you go high-fiving the boy saying “nice job man” while you tell the girl she needs to keep herself pure and legs closed? No. you should not. That is what used to be the case in society. Women were shamed for having sex, almost putting them in the dark for wanting to have pleasure, but for men, it was not a big deal. Birth control is a beautiful thing now, women have the power to make decisions on their own fertility at a 99% success rate for some of the birth control options on the market. I’d like to thank Mirena, Nexplanon, etc..ok just kidding, but really, these companies give women much more power over their own bodies. I had a disagreement once that someone said birth control should not be covered by insurance and women should have to pay for it. I was so taken aback, because I think giving more options for birth control helps reduce the rate of unplanned pregnancy. Women should have that power over their bodies, 110%. Think of it this way, if women have to pay for their own birth control without the help of insurance, etc., they would implement that each time a man and a woman have sex, he can pay a nightly fee to cover the possibilities that his sperm would fertilize an egg and let’s see how long that last. (Side note, I am pretty sure birth control is much cheaper than child support folks.) Now that I am off topic and have probably offended someone at this point, let’s get into the double standards in today’s world.

For women and men, the desire want to have sex is something God intended for people. Both parties deserve to have pleasure, not just one side. Just like I covered earlier that it is wrong to shame a woman, but it is also wrong to shame a man. Recently in season 6 of Bachelor in Paradise, one contestant, Blake got a lot of heat for sleeping with one girl one night, then another girl the following night. The guy was single, neither of these girls were in a committed relationship with him. So, one of those girls, goes onto the show crying about how wrong he was, how big of a douche canoe he was, how he silenced her, etc. Well, this guy was completely blindsided when all of this came out, so he and his anxiety released proof...juicy text messages between him and said girl. The girl was 100% the one who initiated this interaction, after he said no several times. He finally gave in, probably because he was getting tired of her trying to bargain with him. They discussed how it was not a big deal, all was good, and they were going to go into Paradise without any of that baggage. As you can see, that did not happen, go figure. Was Blake in the wrong for releasing those messages? Well that debate has been going on and now that Paradise is over hopefully that debate will end. He has every right to defend himself, yes. This show has a way of making men look like complete garbage while making these women look like innocent, perfect, clean-resume, barbie dolls. If he would have said, without text message proof, that Caelynn initiated their sexual encounter, who really would have believed him? That is what is wrong in society nowadays. Men are painted to be these garbage bag, douche-canoes and these women are painted to be saints. If this would have been a man, begging the girl to have sex with him, they probably would have started calling it sexual harassment. So, who is really in the right here? In my opinion, they both were wrong. Caelynn should have not been a big jealous, “I’m always the victim,” baby on that beach.  Blake should keep his junk in his pants or maybe not sleep with two women on back to back nights, both of which will soon be in the same place for three weeks with thirsty producers looking for some good television. He has learned from his mistakes, as I have heard him speak out about it on other podcasts. Good for you Blake. Caelynn has Dean now, who also held her accountable for being a stage 5 clinger and drama queen at the beginning of Paradise. Caelynn and Dean and too cute, I hope they stay together and post more about van life. 

Back to topic, I saw a new Monopoly game recently that will initially pay women players more than men, and women players will get more money each time they pass go. I do not think I need to explain to anyone how not only sexist this game is, but how downright ridiculous this idea was. First of all, women do not get a “free pass” just because they are born with two XX chromosomes. Yes, women generally in today’s society do make more than men, but to believe that is true in all cases is just  ignorance. 

Another thing I have against radical feminism is related to their beliefs that ALL men are misogynistic, sexist, pigs and that we should destroy them at all costs. I was raised by a father, who has three daughters, including me. All of my sisters are strong alpha women, so I am not sure why people seem to think that all men want women to be less than them. Yes, there are some men who believe women are below them and that their sole job is to make them sandwiches and clean the house. To those men who believe this, please get with the times and stop feeling so insecure in yourself to believe that your woman is beneath you. We cannot change society, but ladies, if you meet a man like that and you fully expect to be equal in your relationship, dump that dude and he will learn when he is all alone living in his parent’s basement until he is 40. There are so many guys out there who want to be with women who are strong and independent. There are many men out there who love knowing that their partner is ambitious and will help him equally through things. There are men who empower women to be strong and courageous, who do not expect them to be the sole provider for their children, offer help and share all responsibilities equal. To the men who are like this, thank you! 

Equality goes both ways. Men and women should be held to the same standards. In all truthfulness, the ONLY difference between men and women are biological and hormonal differences. We should all be respectful of each other. Women should not be put to be in this spotlight while men sit on the sidelines. We are better than that. I do not want a free pass in society to get ahead of men only because I was born with a uterus. If I apply for a job and I am competing with a man for the position, I want to get a job solely based on my qualifications and accomplishments not based on my gender. Ladies AND gentlemen, work hard, stay focused, and be kind. That’s all. Sounds pretty simple to me.  Thanks for reading my first post, and no, it will not be the last about women and men in society so stay tuned. 

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