“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well, 2021 is officially coming to a close. I have to be honest, this year has seemingly flown by. Things that happened several months ago still feel like they happened last week. This year has by far been one of my most challenging years I’ve had. I’ve experienced a lot of changes, I’ve experienced a lot of loss, and I’ve experienced a lot of growth. I believe I will forever remember this year as a time in my life that I needed the most.

I’ve discussed my three “words of the year” for 2020.  Those word goals were to challenge, to persevere, and spontaneity. I believe I have fulfilled those goals in many ways and I’ve written several blogs about the ways in which my growth has been very focused around those word goals. This post in particular is going to focus on my word goals I have created for 2022 and what goals I have set for myself through them.

I believe this “word of the year” idea has helped me a lot. I think after a certain point in our lives, we start to wonder what goals we really have. We’ve graduated college, we’ve moved out on our own, we have a good job and/or career. It can sometimes seem like in our mid to late 20s that we start to question, what’s next? That next goal and step is entirely up to you as an individual. For me, I find that having goals gives me the drive and motivation to accomplish and become so much more than what I am already.

The words I have chosen for 2022 as my goals are: peace, patience, and perseverance.

I chose these words for many different reasons. To be fully honest, I view my “words of the year” goals as small steps to reaching my big main goals which are to discover, to grow, and to heal in order to become a better version of myself. I believe a huge step to take when you are climbing the ladder to reach the big goals is to look at the things that are at the bottom, you know, those things that are part of my fundamental core. I cannot just skip to the top without taking the first step on the bottom. I know I must take one step at a time, and sometimes there might be steps throughout the ladder that are hard to hold your balance on.

A fundamental part of my self-discovery journey is that I have to find peace with not only myself but also with the life I am living, the life I once lived, and the life I have left to come. This is why I chose the word peace as my first word of the year. I struggle to find peace a lot of the time. I tend to hold onto things way too long. I tend to question if where I am is truly where I belong. I start to doubt my faith in God, and his plans for me. I have found that this verse has helped remind me that everything that happens, both the good and the bad, happens for a greater purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,  Declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I think a lot of people struggle with finding peace. I’ve learned that life is not always filled with sunny days and warm weather. It’s on those cold, cloudy, and rainy days that we are being tested to see if we can withstand things that we are not particularly comfortable and/or happy with. To find peace within yourself is to remain calm in the chaos that is to come throughout life. I believe that finding inner peace is a huge step for me to take in order to continue climbing up my tall ladder of self-discovery goals. I know that I cannot control the things that might be thrown in my direction, but I want to build myself up mentally to withstand and overcome challenges that will be presented to me.

To develop patience is my second word goal of the year. I can be a very impatient person. I rush into things that might not always be the best thing for me. I become frustrated and anxious when things are not going as “quickly” or as “efficiently” as I see fit. It’s a toxic trait to be so impatient. It comes across and pushy and rude when you are particularly taking your frustrations out on someone you view to be “slow.”

When I am impatient, I can feel my heart start to beat a little bit faster. I can feel the tension rising in my muscles. My body language becomes more aggressive. My tone of voice becomes more demanding. I become a human being that I do not particularly like. I say things that I shouldn’t. I make people feel uncomfortable at times when I am impatient. I know a lot of people struggle with being impatient. It’s a good thing to be efficient, but it’s not a good thing to be controlling or demanding. I want to develop patience with others, with the world, but also with myself. I want to find ways to breathe, to calm my irritation, and to work on thinking before I speak.  This goal will be one I will have to work very hard on. To be able to break and change those bad and old habits is not an easy thing to do, but I know each and every day I have to cognitively work towards this goal.

I had an easy time finding my first two goals of the year. My third goal word of the year was one I had to think about for a while. Also, both of my other word goals begin with the letter P. I went through many different Pinterest ideas and none really sat with me as goals. To process? To gain perspective? To persevere?  I even wished upon a shooting star the other day that I would find my third word of the year goal. I did wish for a couple of other things too, but I can share this wish with you because it came actually came true!

When I would bounce the idea of my 2022 word goals off of other people, I would say things like, “I can’t use “to persevere” or “perseverance” because that was one of my 2021 word goals of the year already.” (I actually have changed this third word goal three times since I started writing this blog). It was not until I started writing this paragraph I thought to myself, why not repeat a goal you had last year?

Here is where I believe I have been working on changing my perspective on things since day one of starting my self-discovery journey. I now know that not every single goal happens in the time frame we want it to happen. So, we persevere. We refuse to give up. We refuse allow the rough roads to stop us from going in the direction we desire. We refuse to allow the amount of time it takes to accomplish a goal determine our level of success. So what you finished school in 6 years instead of 4? Maybe you went back to college at the age of 32 to pursue a totally different career. So what if you did not do everything you thought you would, but instead did something else, something you believe you were meant to do?  

So, my third, and repeated from 2021, “word goal of the year” is perseverance. This year has given me a lot of moments in which I wanted to give up. There were many times I felt like I had lost so much of myself and my foundation that it would be impossible to rebuild. What I’ve learned this year is that I was broken down to the point that I had to make a choice. I could simply just give up and allow myself to crumble down to bare nothing or I find the tools and supplies I needed in order to rebuild myself back up into someone better, someone stronger, someone smarter, more compassionate, more kind, more humble, more empathetic, more introspective, more honest, and more of the person I aspire to become.  

To say I’ve finished building myself into who I want to be would be a lie. There are days I feel like I let myself down. I revert back to my old habits I thought I’d grown out of. I allow the negativity of someone else affect my own energy. I project my emotions onto other people and I watch as I am saying things I feel as if I cannot stop myself from saying. There are a lot of days I wish I did not have this deep desire to become a better version of myself, wouldn’t that just be easier…right? I could stick to my old ways and ignore my habits, but to be fully honest, I don’t want to, and I refuse to give up on that goal.

The idea to reuse the word goal of perseverance or to persevere again as a 2022 goal was the lightbulb moment I needed to make me feel like this blog post was complete. It was in this moment that I felt reminded that the best things in life take time. I felt this feeling in my soul, a this feeling that I have to be patient, to persevere, and to have a little faith, all in order to find peace. Maybe, just maybe, this next year in 2022 will not only bring me something great, but it will also teach me something new.

Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day.